3/30/12

The problem is that I believe every word you say.

I believe in the fantasy of it, and oh baby, does it do me so wrong.

I hold onto every word you say because I think it means something, even though the tried, tested and true record shows that actions speak louder than words.

So with every word of yours that I continue believe, and every word I hold onto, I inevitably choose to break my heart again and again. For no other good reason, except that I believe in the fantasy of you. An idealization of you but in truth, not the reality of you.

The highs and the lows from this situation are so addictive. My masochistic self cannot help but continue to search for the validation and subsequently, the let down. But we all have to make choices for the betterment of one's self. And although this may continue to be one of the most difficult things on my plate, I must push through.

Because I refuse to go through life in torment. Life is way too short for me to sit here and dwell on your shortcomings.

3/6/12

This is the first time I can actually believe that you are not going to come back into my life. This is also the last time I want to dedicate so much of my energy to you.

It's so sad how one soul can put such attention and focus to an individual, for it to never be reciprocated.

What happened to you?

I want to move on and be happy.